I have always engaged with and found friends in people who have led colorful lives. They have way more interesting stories to tell of their "glory days" and have experiences the rest of us may not have enjoyed. Especially in the area I live in. Or people who have had world experience outside of their neighborhoods or families. They have a widened view of what is real.
I live in Northern Utah County. Sometimes the people here are myopic. What is myopic? It means shortsighted or nearsighted, lacking imagination or intellectual insight. Or to put it plainly they sometimes can't see past their noses.
Sometimes Mormons who have grown up in our society have never stepped out of bounds and experienced things. You know, we don't drink alcohol or coffee, we don't smoke or do illicit drugs. But we sure do drink a lot of Coke and take a lot of anti-depressants. We don't have sex outside of marriage But we have the highest porn addiction stats in the US. Now I'm not saying one has to drink alcohol or take drugs or have premarital sex to experience the "outside" world. One of the best ways to experience these things is by watching how it affect those around us. For some people this is enough. For some, they wait until they have 4 or 5 kids then go off on some crazy midlife crisis and destroy their families, leave the Church, etc. Or, of course, you can sow your wild oats as a teenager. Not that I'd recommend it.
A lot of Mormons go around trying to outdo their neighbors. Making sure everyone is dressed just so or has their happiest faces on at Church even though their lives at home behind closed doors are a nightmare. I know men who hide major porn addictions from everyone and put on this "I'm such a great guy act" at Church then go home and treat their wives and family like utter shit. Or the mom who has to be everywhere and do everything for everybody but ingests 40-50 Lortab a day to be able to get it done. I kid you not. 40-50 Lortab a day! Let alone still being alive how does she poop?
There is this idea in our LDS society of being perfect or at least having the facade of perfection for everyone to see. I call their bluff. Luckily, in my congregation I see very little of that going on. We are all struggling along with each other and helping each other when we can. I appreciate how open my congregation is with each other. Sharing their stories of addiction, abuse, depression to help others better understand when it happens to them or a loved one. Because I have friends in my congregation who have experienced teenagers who use their agency to it's fullest I have a little more compassion for my own situation. Plus, I was a little shit until I grew up and had some "real life" experiences of my own........so I'm more compassionate towards my friends' experiences.
Another thing that helps me be more empathetic and compassionate is because I'm married to a Marriage and Family Therapist. Because he is a therapist people think, incorrectly, that I am equally qualified. Psh! I will listen and love you but I got nothin' when it comes to helping you the way he can. I can only draw on my own experiences and the experiences of those around me to give you any "therapy".
Also, my experience as a school secretary really opened my eyes to some of the things that go on around me. I loved those little kids. Sometimes they would come into the office and my face was the first one they'd see and they'd just need someone to love them up and send them on their way. I held several little ones on my lap at my desk and let them cry because that's what they needed. Sometimes a band-aid made it all better. Or the ubiquitous bag of ice. We all need to feel love and have attention given and sometimes that stupid ice bag was it.
There were also the children who were in abusive homes. Or homes wherein there was illicit drug use. There were children who came in of whom I am sure school lunch--they would receive free lunch--was their only meal of the day and I was glad that they had school breakfast, too.
Lately, I have seen on a popular social media site a northern Utah County woman's insistence that children in America do not go to bed hungry. That the free lunch program that is federally funded does not need to be a part of our district because it is federal money. This is also the type of person who doesn't believe in using federal dollars to fund special education program for the mentally disabled or classrooms for children who have autism. Also this is the type of person who does not believe in using federal dollars to fund Title 1 programs in lower income schools. This woman stated that these kids who receive free lunches and breakfast through federally funded programs should just have their parents make them a sandwich and put an apple into a bag and there is lunch. That's simple if you HAVE THE MONEY AND THE FOOD TO DO THAT KIND OF THING.
And yes, people do take advantage of the system. I haven't dug a deep hole in the ground to put my head into it. Hell, we've been poor enough over the early years that my children could have qualified to receive free lunch and breakfast but we always had enough money to pay for lunches or make lunches to send with them. But let's face it I am THAT lazy mom who doesn't care to get up and make lunches for her people. Eat at school!
I've been in the lunchrooms and seen the kids who don't get food at home. They eat everything that's on their plate then ask for their friends. Then they take the leftover food and put it in their pockets for later. Yes, even in the wealthier parts of this school district they do this.
Do we need federal monies to do this? Why not? This district takes federal monies only for the special ed programs and for school lunch. We do not take money for Common Core or any other programs. Could we continue to fund special ed and free school meals if we lost the federal funds? No. It would be impossible. (And don't even get me started on what this woman thinks about special ed funding because she doesn't believe in that either. Lucky her. She has healthy children. See what I mean about being myopic?) So suck it up, lady. As long as I am around I will fight for my neighbors and friends who need these programs and are lucky enough to have federal monies around to fund them. We won't all need a handout but isn't it nice to have around when or if you ever do?
Wednesday, December 10, 2014
Monday, April 14, 2014
Ordain Women
There are only a few times I have felt powerless in my life: before I became medicated for my depression, before I forgave my mother for her abusive nature, when I was writing my other blog and got in trouble for it by my employer leading me to quit my job, a couple times while I was on my mission when things weren't going well for an investigator. There are a more, I'm sure but none that stand out right now.
Not once in my life have I ever felt powerless because of a man--of course, I've never been raped or sexually abused, my father was and is loving and supportive as well as my husband, I grew up knowing because of my mother that I was just as good as any man and how to stand up to any man in any situation. I learned how to interact with boys and then men in a way that makes them trust me as an equal and not a whiner. I've ALWAYS liked men way more than I like women. They don't pull punches, they don't play games, they're straightforward, they don't gossip like women do, etc. I have few women friends that I totally trust. I know that at any minute a woman will betray me. It's happened too many times in my life and I have had many different friends from different backgrounds and cultures---they're all the same.
Maybe if I had been abused or had been brought up by an "abusive" man or a man that lorded his priesthood over our family I would feel more powerless. Maybe if my mother hadn't have had a strong personality and didn't go head to head with a few bishops and bosses over her lifetime I would feel more powerless.
I remember a few times my mother got a little (read a lot) pissed off with some misogynistic priesthood holders in her lifetime and they got to feel her wrath. Once we had this bishop--this is back in the early 70's--and he got up in Sunday School on Mother's Day and told the assembly that he had been able to get a general authority to admit that men were just a little bit better than women in the Church and in the realms of heaven. This is back when we would go to Sunday School in the morning then go back in the evening for two hours of Sacrament Meeting (brutal). Also, at the time my dad was in this guy's Bishopric. Well, she had some time to ruminate on this before we went back for our evening meetings and she said, I remember her saying this, "I'm going to get that guy. He's going to know that I am just as good as him if not better." She waited until my dad left to go back to the church then went in and put on her polyester blue and white striped pants. I remember thinking that we were all going to go to hell because you just didn't wear pants to church! We went to our building and she waited out in the foyer until the Bishop got up to the pulpit to start the meeting and then she marched me and my sister to the front row, right in front of the Bishop so he could see who exactly wore the pants in the family. He was so pissed. I lay across my mother's lap during church trying to hide her shame.
Another time a couple of years before she died she was at church in sacrament meeting when a high councilman (who sometimes get a little full of themselves as do some women in stewardship roles) got up to speak and went on and on about what was and wasn't proper Sunday activity and dress. He said that people should stay in their Sunday clothes all day long and stated that "I would like to come to some of your houses and see how YOU observe the Sabbath," of course, in an accusatory way. Well! She had some time to ruminate on this and as soon as the closing prayer was over she put her Jazzy in high gear and Jazzied her way up to the front of the chapel, right in this guy's way and said, "If you ever came to my house on a Sunday I'd throw you off of my porch!" Then she turned around and Jazzied her way out. She then called the Stake President and told on him and that guy got released. I kid you not.
My mother was a Relief Society President, a Young Women's President, in a Stake Relief Society Presidency. She was the Ward Activities Chairperson, a dynamic gospel doctrine teacher, the Stake Girl's Camp cook for over 20 years, and a bishop's wife. She and my dad served two missions to Zimbabwe and then India. She always had leadership positions because she was known to stand up for what she believed in, get what she wanted and get the job done in an efficient and well-done manner. And about the time I turned 10 she went back to work full time. She had several chronic and weird medical conditions during this time that never held her back. The doctor told her she'd live no more than 5 years with her terminal disease. She lived 10. She was a woman and you should have heard her roar. This is where I come from.
If a person feels defeated, put upon, unjustly dealt with, powerless--those are THEIR feelings. Those are Satan's way of making a person question what is right. Remember: the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith. Meekness (which means spiritual strength, not weakness), and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). Satan doesn't help us have these feelings. He wants us to have counterfeit feelings: pride, ego, jealousy, impatience, striving, powerless, being better than others, or being worse than others, insecurity, doubt, etc.
So, I don't get Ordain Women. I just don't. The word these women keep using to describes themselves is powerless. "Powerless". If they feel powerless then they have put themselves into that position. Not the Church. Not the Brethren. Not the Priesthood. They have. They have bought into some of society's views on women and then projected it onto the Church. There is nowhere in my reading, studying, and living the gospel that has ever led me to believe that I am powerless.
Some of the things Ordain Women want changed are ludicrous to me: the temple blessings. Uh, hello!! Women actually have the better part in the blessings of the temple they just don't know it. They need to study up on that a bit more. Go sit down with a member of a Temple Presidency and ask them the differences between men and women in the blessings of the temple. You will be astounded. Ladies, you want to have harder work? Be my guest. I prefer to skate along.
They want the Priesthood. Why?! Because they think they can do a better job? So they can boss everyone around and then lord it over us because you know that's what they would do. Plus, Jesus is a man. Not a woMAN. And when you use the Priesthood to bless someone you are standing in for the Savior. In the realms of the spirit world male spirits only administer to male spirits and female spirits only administer to female spirits. This is why it states in the Proclamation on the Family, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Here, we administer to each other in different ways but only a male (mortal) spirit can stand in for another male (Jesus' immortal) spirit.
And this supposed interview with President Gordon B Hinckley wherein he "admitted" that women should have the Priesthood but they hadn't "agitated" for it? Taken entirely out of context. Come on!
I could go on and on.....I really could. I really, really could. But then I would just start swearing and bringing the Spirit down....so I will end with this:
I was reading in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 which states:
3. For the time will come when they will not aendure sound bdoctrine; but after their own clusts shall they heap to themselves dteachers, having itching ears;
The following was found on a comment board from another blogpost by someone else.
Look into their claim about Joseph Smith a little more. The original quote states that he “said he wanted to make of them a kingdom of Priests as in Enoch’s day – as in Paul’s day” (josephsmithpapers.org). I don’t know a whole lot about Enoch’s organization of the city of Zion, but I DO know that Paul taught that women should not rule in church (1 Corinthians 14:38 JST). He also presented Sister Phebe as a great woman who was a servant of God, a director over many, and that she was working with authority under him. Paul was not a mysoginist in any sense of the word, yet he still stated that women should not direct the affairs of the church with priesthood keys as he had. Why, then, would Joseph Smith wish to emulate Paul’s day (and presumably Paul’s administration of priesthood keys) if he’d intended to give the sisters of the Nauvoo Relief Society the priesthood? It is also important to note that the 1828 Webster dictionary defines “ordain” as “to set apart”, so as time went on we began to associate ordination with the priesthood and less with setting apart for authority in callings. We can not use our modern definition/connotation when reading early church history texts regarding the sisters and ordinations.
This was found on Mormon.org.
Gordon B. Hinckley, prior President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:
“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...
“The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”
Gender Is an Essential Characteristic of Eternal Identity and Purpose. Check out this link for more information .
David a Bednar stated:
“By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. … (“Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006, 83–84; or Liahona, June 2006, 51–52).
Dallin H Oaks Priesthood talk April 2014
Not once in my life have I ever felt powerless because of a man--of course, I've never been raped or sexually abused, my father was and is loving and supportive as well as my husband, I grew up knowing because of my mother that I was just as good as any man and how to stand up to any man in any situation. I learned how to interact with boys and then men in a way that makes them trust me as an equal and not a whiner. I've ALWAYS liked men way more than I like women. They don't pull punches, they don't play games, they're straightforward, they don't gossip like women do, etc. I have few women friends that I totally trust. I know that at any minute a woman will betray me. It's happened too many times in my life and I have had many different friends from different backgrounds and cultures---they're all the same.
Maybe if I had been abused or had been brought up by an "abusive" man or a man that lorded his priesthood over our family I would feel more powerless. Maybe if my mother hadn't have had a strong personality and didn't go head to head with a few bishops and bosses over her lifetime I would feel more powerless.
I remember a few times my mother got a little (read a lot) pissed off with some misogynistic priesthood holders in her lifetime and they got to feel her wrath. Once we had this bishop--this is back in the early 70's--and he got up in Sunday School on Mother's Day and told the assembly that he had been able to get a general authority to admit that men were just a little bit better than women in the Church and in the realms of heaven. This is back when we would go to Sunday School in the morning then go back in the evening for two hours of Sacrament Meeting (brutal). Also, at the time my dad was in this guy's Bishopric. Well, she had some time to ruminate on this before we went back for our evening meetings and she said, I remember her saying this, "I'm going to get that guy. He's going to know that I am just as good as him if not better." She waited until my dad left to go back to the church then went in and put on her polyester blue and white striped pants. I remember thinking that we were all going to go to hell because you just didn't wear pants to church! We went to our building and she waited out in the foyer until the Bishop got up to the pulpit to start the meeting and then she marched me and my sister to the front row, right in front of the Bishop so he could see who exactly wore the pants in the family. He was so pissed. I lay across my mother's lap during church trying to hide her shame.
Another time a couple of years before she died she was at church in sacrament meeting when a high councilman (who sometimes get a little full of themselves as do some women in stewardship roles) got up to speak and went on and on about what was and wasn't proper Sunday activity and dress. He said that people should stay in their Sunday clothes all day long and stated that "I would like to come to some of your houses and see how YOU observe the Sabbath," of course, in an accusatory way. Well! She had some time to ruminate on this and as soon as the closing prayer was over she put her Jazzy in high gear and Jazzied her way up to the front of the chapel, right in this guy's way and said, "If you ever came to my house on a Sunday I'd throw you off of my porch!" Then she turned around and Jazzied her way out. She then called the Stake President and told on him and that guy got released. I kid you not.
My mother was a Relief Society President, a Young Women's President, in a Stake Relief Society Presidency. She was the Ward Activities Chairperson, a dynamic gospel doctrine teacher, the Stake Girl's Camp cook for over 20 years, and a bishop's wife. She and my dad served two missions to Zimbabwe and then India. She always had leadership positions because she was known to stand up for what she believed in, get what she wanted and get the job done in an efficient and well-done manner. And about the time I turned 10 she went back to work full time. She had several chronic and weird medical conditions during this time that never held her back. The doctor told her she'd live no more than 5 years with her terminal disease. She lived 10. She was a woman and you should have heard her roar. This is where I come from.
If a person feels defeated, put upon, unjustly dealt with, powerless--those are THEIR feelings. Those are Satan's way of making a person question what is right. Remember: the fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith. Meekness (which means spiritual strength, not weakness), and temperance (Galatians 5:22-23). Satan doesn't help us have these feelings. He wants us to have counterfeit feelings: pride, ego, jealousy, impatience, striving, powerless, being better than others, or being worse than others, insecurity, doubt, etc.
So, I don't get Ordain Women. I just don't. The word these women keep using to describes themselves is powerless. "Powerless". If they feel powerless then they have put themselves into that position. Not the Church. Not the Brethren. Not the Priesthood. They have. They have bought into some of society's views on women and then projected it onto the Church. There is nowhere in my reading, studying, and living the gospel that has ever led me to believe that I am powerless.
Some of the things Ordain Women want changed are ludicrous to me: the temple blessings. Uh, hello!! Women actually have the better part in the blessings of the temple they just don't know it. They need to study up on that a bit more. Go sit down with a member of a Temple Presidency and ask them the differences between men and women in the blessings of the temple. You will be astounded. Ladies, you want to have harder work? Be my guest. I prefer to skate along.
They want the Priesthood. Why?! Because they think they can do a better job? So they can boss everyone around and then lord it over us because you know that's what they would do. Plus, Jesus is a man. Not a woMAN. And when you use the Priesthood to bless someone you are standing in for the Savior. In the realms of the spirit world male spirits only administer to male spirits and female spirits only administer to female spirits. This is why it states in the Proclamation on the Family, "All human beings—male and female—are created in the image of God. Each is a beloved spirit son or daughter of heavenly parents, and, as such, each has a divine nature and destiny. Gender is an essential characteristic of individual premortal, mortal, and eternal identity and purpose." Here, we administer to each other in different ways but only a male (mortal) spirit can stand in for another male (Jesus' immortal) spirit.
And this supposed interview with President Gordon B Hinckley wherein he "admitted" that women should have the Priesthood but they hadn't "agitated" for it? Taken entirely out of context. Come on!
I could go on and on.....I really could. I really, really could. But then I would just start swearing and bringing the Spirit down....so I will end with this:
I was reading in 2 Timothy 4:3-4 which states:
3. For the time will come when they will not aendure sound bdoctrine; but after their own clusts shall they heap to themselves dteachers, having itching ears;
This is what is happening now. These women have turned their ears from the truth, they have itching ears that want to hear only what they want to hear, heaping to themselves false teachers and false teachings.
Also in 2 Timothy 3:5-7:
6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly awomen laden with sins, led away with divers blusts,
Ever learning (the philosophies of man mingled with scripture?) but never able to come to the knowledge of the truth because they deny the message and the messenger.
What will happen if, as these women have asked, the Prophet prays about it and has the answer given to him and he publishes it in a letter for all to read as has been asked and the answer is, "No." Will this pacify them? Will they stop? No. They won't. They won't be satisfied.
I urge you sisters (and brothers) to really be careful what you allow yourselves to believe, what you allow yourselves to feel. If you allow yourself to feel a certain way then you will eventually buy into the entire purchase part and parcel and you will be on the outside looking in.
Be like the Apostle Paul when he states in his letter to Timothy:
Keep the faith, my friends. Keep the faith.
(Below are some articles and other sources you may want to read regarding this blogpost.)
Look into their claim about Joseph Smith a little more. The original quote states that he “said he wanted to make of them a kingdom of Priests as in Enoch’s day – as in Paul’s day” (josephsmithpapers.org). I don’t know a whole lot about Enoch’s organization of the city of Zion, but I DO know that Paul taught that women should not rule in church (1 Corinthians 14:38 JST). He also presented Sister Phebe as a great woman who was a servant of God, a director over many, and that she was working with authority under him. Paul was not a mysoginist in any sense of the word, yet he still stated that women should not direct the affairs of the church with priesthood keys as he had. Why, then, would Joseph Smith wish to emulate Paul’s day (and presumably Paul’s administration of priesthood keys) if he’d intended to give the sisters of the Nauvoo Relief Society the priesthood? It is also important to note that the 1828 Webster dictionary defines “ordain” as “to set apart”, so as time went on we began to associate ordination with the priesthood and less with setting apart for authority in callings. We can not use our modern definition/connotation when reading early church history texts regarding the sisters and ordinations.
This was found on Mormon.org.
Gordon B. Hinckley, prior President of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, said:
“Women do not hold the priesthood because the Lord has put it that way. It is part of His program. Women have a very prominent place in this Church. Men hold the priesthood offices of the Church. But women have a tremendous place in this Church. They have their own organization. It was started in 1842 by the Prophet Joseph Smith, called the Relief Society, because its initial purpose was to administer help to those in need. It has grown to be, I think, the largest women’s organization in the world... They have their own offices, their own presidency, their own board. That reaches down to the smallest unit of the Church everywhere in the world...
“The men hold the priesthood, yes. But my wife is my companion. In this Church the man neither walks ahead of his wife nor behind his wife but at her side. They are co-equals in this life in a great enterprise.”
Gender Is an Essential Characteristic of Eternal Identity and Purpose. Check out this link for more information .
David a Bednar stated:
“By divine design, men and women are intended to progress together toward perfection and a fulness of glory. Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences. The man and the woman contribute differently but equally to a oneness and a unity that can be achieved in no other way. The man completes and perfects the woman and the woman completes and perfects the man as they learn from and mutually strengthen and bless each other. … (“Marriage Is Essential to His Eternal Plan,” Ensign, June 2006, 83–84; or Liahona, June 2006, 51–52).
Dallin H Oaks Priesthood talk April 2014
Tuesday, February 18, 2014
Headache
I have always been that person who waits too long to do something I should have done a long time ago. Say, for instance, taking anti-depressants which you can read about here or shopping for Christmas or writing a report for school or whatever. You get the gist.
When I was a little kid if I had even the slightest sniffle or cough my mother would run me to the doctor and demand an antibiotic which we know now wasn't necessary and probably made our immune systems worse off but whatever. Even as an adult (before she died) if I had a cough for more than three days she'd try to get me to go to the doctor for an antibiotic. Of course, by the time I was an adult I had learned that a virus takes 7 to 10 days to clear the body. I was sick in January, really sick, with a virus that took 10 days until I felt a little bit better. Then it took two weeks to get rid of the dry cough. I could hear her in the back of my head saying, "You should go to the doctor and get an antibiotic." To which I replied, to myself of course, "It'll go away! It's not bacterial!"
Maybe because my mom was a such pill pusher (not really, but it's funny to think so) and took something for everything that came down the pike that I don't like to take medications now. I watched her try to control her headaches for years. She had these horrible debilitating headaches all her life that she controlled with huge amounts of Excedrin and Coke. Lots of caffeine and aspirin led to huge stomach ulcers which introduced a whole new set of problems. So then she turned to Tylenol which, let's face it, does nothing for headaches. After her ulcers cleared up she turned back to her favorite--Excedrin and Coke. Especially at the end of her life which from the lack of oxygen caused her to have excruciating headaches but hell she was already dying. She ended up having to take heavy doses of some kind of legal narcotic to control the pain. At least she died pain free, relatively. (And yes, I know that caffeine and sugar create headaches and it's a cycle and we told her but.....it was her life.)
I mean, if I get a sinus infection I don't mind taking an antibiotic. But I always know the difference between a virus and a sinus infection--my teeth will hurt. But if my hip hurts because I've knocked it out of alignment from running I go to the chiropractor. If my shoulders hurt because I've sat at my desk too long working on something I call the massage therapist.
But if my head hurts----I will wait for HOURS to do something about it. I will wait until I am so nauseated and light hurts my eyes and I'm lying in bed debilitated before I will take something. And Tylenol doesn't help. Neither does Motrin. Only Excedrin will do the trick. I only have to take one. One Excedrin will get rid of my headaches (I know they are migraines--leave me alone) but I will wait and see if it will go away on it's own. It doesn't until I take my medication.
Yesterday I started to get a headache at about 3pm. I was working on a family history project all afternoon and into the evening. I ignored the headache. I got up, made dinner, had a little family home evening, then went back to my project until I couldn't bear it anymore. Then instead of taking the one Excedrin I think to myself, "If I go to bed it will be gone in the morning." That used to be the case but as I get older it's not. I woke up with the same damned headache.
Guess what I did first thing this morning......I took an Excedrin. And 30 minutes later? Headache gone.
It goes back to me always thinking, "I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" I'm a 3 year old in a 45 year old body/mind.
When I was a little kid if I had even the slightest sniffle or cough my mother would run me to the doctor and demand an antibiotic which we know now wasn't necessary and probably made our immune systems worse off but whatever. Even as an adult (before she died) if I had a cough for more than three days she'd try to get me to go to the doctor for an antibiotic. Of course, by the time I was an adult I had learned that a virus takes 7 to 10 days to clear the body. I was sick in January, really sick, with a virus that took 10 days until I felt a little bit better. Then it took two weeks to get rid of the dry cough. I could hear her in the back of my head saying, "You should go to the doctor and get an antibiotic." To which I replied, to myself of course, "It'll go away! It's not bacterial!"
Maybe because my mom was a such pill pusher (not really, but it's funny to think so) and took something for everything that came down the pike that I don't like to take medications now. I watched her try to control her headaches for years. She had these horrible debilitating headaches all her life that she controlled with huge amounts of Excedrin and Coke. Lots of caffeine and aspirin led to huge stomach ulcers which introduced a whole new set of problems. So then she turned to Tylenol which, let's face it, does nothing for headaches. After her ulcers cleared up she turned back to her favorite--Excedrin and Coke. Especially at the end of her life which from the lack of oxygen caused her to have excruciating headaches but hell she was already dying. She ended up having to take heavy doses of some kind of legal narcotic to control the pain. At least she died pain free, relatively. (And yes, I know that caffeine and sugar create headaches and it's a cycle and we told her but.....it was her life.)
I mean, if I get a sinus infection I don't mind taking an antibiotic. But I always know the difference between a virus and a sinus infection--my teeth will hurt. But if my hip hurts because I've knocked it out of alignment from running I go to the chiropractor. If my shoulders hurt because I've sat at my desk too long working on something I call the massage therapist.
But if my head hurts----I will wait for HOURS to do something about it. I will wait until I am so nauseated and light hurts my eyes and I'm lying in bed debilitated before I will take something. And Tylenol doesn't help. Neither does Motrin. Only Excedrin will do the trick. I only have to take one. One Excedrin will get rid of my headaches (I know they are migraines--leave me alone) but I will wait and see if it will go away on it's own. It doesn't until I take my medication.
Yesterday I started to get a headache at about 3pm. I was working on a family history project all afternoon and into the evening. I ignored the headache. I got up, made dinner, had a little family home evening, then went back to my project until I couldn't bear it anymore. Then instead of taking the one Excedrin I think to myself, "If I go to bed it will be gone in the morning." That used to be the case but as I get older it's not. I woke up with the same damned headache.
Guess what I did first thing this morning......I took an Excedrin. And 30 minutes later? Headache gone.
It goes back to me always thinking, "I CAN DO IT MYSELF!" I'm a 3 year old in a 45 year old body/mind.
Saturday, December 21, 2013
On Gay Marriage
Today I was walking through Kohl's doing some shopping happily humming along to the Christmas music piped in from the speakers overhead when I decided to check Twitter just to see what was going on. Twitter had metaphorically blown up with the news that a US District Court Judge had ruled on a portion of the Utah State Constitution which declared that marriage was only between a man and a woman; the judge had decided that this is unconstitutional. As I read on I found that all but four counties had started issuing marriage licenses to gay couples and Salt Lake Mayor Becker had married one or two couples. There were cries that those four counties were backwards, hateful, too Mormon-y, etc.
Here are my two thoughts that occurred in rapid succession: 1. Complete and utter sadness and 2. it's not a law nor legal yet and only one judge had ruled on it so those counties who HAD issued marriage licenses were soon going to be faced with some very angry gay couples.
I am going to address the first thought in this blog post. I will be turning off the comments. I will delete comments on Facebook. I will not address comments on Twitter. I won't respond to text messages. I don't care what you think of me or my blog post. Stop following me, unfriend me, slam your door in my face--I don't give a shit. Because as part of the silent majority I will be heard on MY terms.
About 6 or 7 months ago I was pondering gay marriage. I was listening to all sides of the coin--it should be legalized, it should be banned; it's constitutional, it's unconstitutional; it's against the commandments, God loves all of His children and wants them to be happy (which I really, truly believe); etcetera. I was hearing what those in the gay community had to say. I was listening to our Church leaders. I was listening to the Pope. I was listening to the government, friends, relatives, etc.
The reason I was pondering this position at that time was a because of an old friend of ours who lives in Illinois. My husband went to grad school with him in Marriage and Family Therapy. After we had left the area he and his wife stayed there and made their home. After awhile he was made the Bishop of the ward--for those who are not LDS a bishop is the non-paid ecclesiastical leader of geographical area in which LDS people live. I'm not quite sure of the entire story but over his lifetime he must have had some experiences with gay couples whether as a bishop or as a therapist that made him become active in the fight to make gay marriage legal in the State of Illinois. In the LDS Church we believe in eternal marriage and only a man and a woman can take part in eternal marriage, which is called a sealing and takes place in our temples, and was ordained from the beginning and modeled to us by our Heavenly Father. I asked him how he separated eternal marriage from this and if he believed if a gay couple can take part in eternal marriage and he told me no and that for a gay couple to be married it wouldn't be eternal only something they could have here in this lifetime. Seemed like a good answer to me. Plausible. I was pretty much sold.
I have gay family members whom I love. I have gay friends and acquaintances whom I love.
There was an elder I became friends with on my mission (clearly gay and dramatic but it didn't even occur to me then :-)) who came home and came out and found a nice partner. A year ago they adopted a darling little boy whom they love and parent so cutely. They seem like great parents. That is the cutest kid. I have another friend whom I grew up with who served a mission, came home and came out. He is with a nice man and has raised to adulthood a child that is now off to college. They have another child (whom I'm not clear about whether he has been adopted yet or is a foster child) that they are now raising. My friend puts the cutest conversations he has with this child has on Facebook. I am so glad that these children who could be in precarious positions have these wonderful men to raise them in a loving family environment.
I had these examples placed before me. Why shouldn't they have what the rest of us have? Why can't they have every equality afforded them? I don't have these answers.
But I do have this experience:
Some of you know I work for the LDS Church. I clean the Mt Timpanogos Temple at night after the patrons and the temple workers go home. There are 19 of us on the crew wherein 10 of us are there to clean the 10 different "areas" divided up for us on any given night. We are alone for the most part in our areas for 3 hours or so while we madly rush to make it all look perfect again and ready for the work that will be done the next day. I love this job. I think it was heaven sent at just the right time (I started working a week after we buried my mother) for me. It is hard work. We don't walk around with feather dusters, the temple doesn't magically clean itself. It gets dusted, vacuumed thoroughly, and each restroom cleaned from top to bottom every single night. It is hard work and I finish every night in a sweat.
Back to 6 or 7 months ago......I was pondering, really pondering and praying one night about what to settle on when it came to gay marriage. I was vacuuming (which is a really great time to ponder as vacuuming is very monotonous) and thinking and praying when the answer, very simple, came: Follow the Brethren.
In the LDS Church to Follow the Brethren means to follow the Prophet and the Apostles. The Brethren have asked us to love those in gay relationships, that they should be afforded all the legal commonalities as those in straight relationships--meaning receiving insurance, being entitled to their dead partners belongings, sharing custody of children,etc. But not marriage.
I mean, it all seems logical to me, it really does. But the Lord has told me that it is not to be and I am to "Look to the Brethren." I learned a long time ago that when the Lord tells me these things, and I simply just obey, say okay, then I will be at peace. And, really, that's all I need. I don't need to make you feel good. I don't need to make my gay family members feel good. I don't need to make my gay friends and acquaintances feel good. I need to feel good and at peace with me and with God.
And that is all I have to say about that.
Here are my two thoughts that occurred in rapid succession: 1. Complete and utter sadness and 2. it's not a law nor legal yet and only one judge had ruled on it so those counties who HAD issued marriage licenses were soon going to be faced with some very angry gay couples.
I am going to address the first thought in this blog post. I will be turning off the comments. I will delete comments on Facebook. I will not address comments on Twitter. I won't respond to text messages. I don't care what you think of me or my blog post. Stop following me, unfriend me, slam your door in my face--I don't give a shit. Because as part of the silent majority I will be heard on MY terms.
About 6 or 7 months ago I was pondering gay marriage. I was listening to all sides of the coin--it should be legalized, it should be banned; it's constitutional, it's unconstitutional; it's against the commandments, God loves all of His children and wants them to be happy (which I really, truly believe); etcetera. I was hearing what those in the gay community had to say. I was listening to our Church leaders. I was listening to the Pope. I was listening to the government, friends, relatives, etc.
The reason I was pondering this position at that time was a because of an old friend of ours who lives in Illinois. My husband went to grad school with him in Marriage and Family Therapy. After we had left the area he and his wife stayed there and made their home. After awhile he was made the Bishop of the ward--for those who are not LDS a bishop is the non-paid ecclesiastical leader of geographical area in which LDS people live. I'm not quite sure of the entire story but over his lifetime he must have had some experiences with gay couples whether as a bishop or as a therapist that made him become active in the fight to make gay marriage legal in the State of Illinois. In the LDS Church we believe in eternal marriage and only a man and a woman can take part in eternal marriage, which is called a sealing and takes place in our temples, and was ordained from the beginning and modeled to us by our Heavenly Father. I asked him how he separated eternal marriage from this and if he believed if a gay couple can take part in eternal marriage and he told me no and that for a gay couple to be married it wouldn't be eternal only something they could have here in this lifetime. Seemed like a good answer to me. Plausible. I was pretty much sold.
I have gay family members whom I love. I have gay friends and acquaintances whom I love.
There was an elder I became friends with on my mission (clearly gay and dramatic but it didn't even occur to me then :-)) who came home and came out and found a nice partner. A year ago they adopted a darling little boy whom they love and parent so cutely. They seem like great parents. That is the cutest kid. I have another friend whom I grew up with who served a mission, came home and came out. He is with a nice man and has raised to adulthood a child that is now off to college. They have another child (whom I'm not clear about whether he has been adopted yet or is a foster child) that they are now raising. My friend puts the cutest conversations he has with this child has on Facebook. I am so glad that these children who could be in precarious positions have these wonderful men to raise them in a loving family environment.
I had these examples placed before me. Why shouldn't they have what the rest of us have? Why can't they have every equality afforded them? I don't have these answers.
But I do have this experience:
Some of you know I work for the LDS Church. I clean the Mt Timpanogos Temple at night after the patrons and the temple workers go home. There are 19 of us on the crew wherein 10 of us are there to clean the 10 different "areas" divided up for us on any given night. We are alone for the most part in our areas for 3 hours or so while we madly rush to make it all look perfect again and ready for the work that will be done the next day. I love this job. I think it was heaven sent at just the right time (I started working a week after we buried my mother) for me. It is hard work. We don't walk around with feather dusters, the temple doesn't magically clean itself. It gets dusted, vacuumed thoroughly, and each restroom cleaned from top to bottom every single night. It is hard work and I finish every night in a sweat.
Back to 6 or 7 months ago......I was pondering, really pondering and praying one night about what to settle on when it came to gay marriage. I was vacuuming (which is a really great time to ponder as vacuuming is very monotonous) and thinking and praying when the answer, very simple, came: Follow the Brethren.
In the LDS Church to Follow the Brethren means to follow the Prophet and the Apostles. The Brethren have asked us to love those in gay relationships, that they should be afforded all the legal commonalities as those in straight relationships--meaning receiving insurance, being entitled to their dead partners belongings, sharing custody of children,etc. But not marriage.
I mean, it all seems logical to me, it really does. But the Lord has told me that it is not to be and I am to "Look to the Brethren." I learned a long time ago that when the Lord tells me these things, and I simply just obey, say okay, then I will be at peace. And, really, that's all I need. I don't need to make you feel good. I don't need to make my gay family members feel good. I don't need to make my gay friends and acquaintances feel good. I need to feel good and at peace with me and with God.
And that is all I have to say about that.
Friday, June 14, 2013
Carron's "Killer" Cookies
This is a recipe I tore out of a Good Housekeeping Magazine April 2009. I liked the sound of it because it had Rice Krispie cereal included. I like texture in my food.
Makes 4 1/2 dozen
Prep 15 minutes
Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup vegetable shortening (I've been using coconut oil and it's de-licious!)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups old-fashioned oats
2 cups Rice Krispies cereal
1 cup sweetened flake coconut
1 bag (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips (I just threw in a little over a cup)
1. Heat the oven to 350. Place parchment paper on some baking sheets.
2. In a small bowl, blend the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt with a whisk; set aside.
3. In a large bowl, beat shortening and both sugars on medium-high speed about 3 minutes or until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla.
4. On low speed, gradually add flour mixture and beat until just combined. Stir in oats, cereal, coconut and chocolate chips.
5. Form balls with 2 tablespoons of dough (I used my medium sized scoop) and place 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheet. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Cool for a few minutes on the pan before transferring them to cooling rack.
The recipe says to bake them for 10 minutes but I thought they were a little underdone at that time so I cooked them for and extra minute or two just in case. It always depends on your scoop, oven, etc.
They are crispy and chewy at the same time--perfect cookie.
Makes 4 1/2 dozen
Prep 15 minutes
Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup vegetable shortening (I've been using coconut oil and it's de-licious!)
1 cup granulated sugar
1 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
2 cups old-fashioned oats
2 cups Rice Krispies cereal
1 cup sweetened flake coconut
1 bag (6 ounces) semisweet chocolate chips (I just threw in a little over a cup)
1. Heat the oven to 350. Place parchment paper on some baking sheets.
2. In a small bowl, blend the flour, baking soda, baking powder and salt with a whisk; set aside.
3. In a large bowl, beat shortening and both sugars on medium-high speed about 3 minutes or until light and fluffy. Add eggs one at a time, beating well after each addition. Beat in vanilla.
4. On low speed, gradually add flour mixture and beat until just combined. Stir in oats, cereal, coconut and chocolate chips.
5. Form balls with 2 tablespoons of dough (I used my medium sized scoop) and place 2 inches apart on prepared baking sheet. Bake at 350 for 10-12 minutes. Cool for a few minutes on the pan before transferring them to cooling rack.
The recipe says to bake them for 10 minutes but I thought they were a little underdone at that time so I cooked them for and extra minute or two just in case. It always depends on your scoop, oven, etc.
They are crispy and chewy at the same time--perfect cookie.
Sunday, May 12, 2013
To Mom, Love Matthew
After church today, my youngest, almost 12 year old Matthew, got to me first and handed me a folded up piece of paper. I said, "What's this?" and he replied that it was "a 20 questions thing about my mom." I love those things. They really let you know what your kid thinks about you and possibly tells his friends about you.
1. What is something your mom always says to you?
"You're a pain."
2. What makes mom happy?
"When things get done."
3. What makes mom sad?
"When she has to work late."
4. How does mom make you laugh?
"She tickles me."
5. What was mom like as a child?
"An energetic child."
6. What is her favorite thing to do?
"Spend time with the family."
7. What does mom do when you're not around.
"Clean, cook, nap."
8. If mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
"Cooking."
9. What is mom really good at?
"Cooking and cleaning."
10. What is mom not very good at?
"Video games." And in my defense here, they make me nauseous to watch on the screen soooo....
11. What does mom do for a job?
"She cleans the temple."
12. What is mom's favorite food?
"Chocolate."
13. What makes you proud of mom?
"Nice, cooking and funny."
14. If mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"Daffy Duck"
15. What do you and mom do together?
"Go to dinner."
16. How are you and mom the same?
"We are both energetic."
17. How are you and mom different?
"I'm a guy."
18. How do you know mom loves you?
"She sais (sic) so."
19. What does mom like most about dad?
"He makes the money/and listens to her."
20. Where is mom's favorite place to go?
"Her room."
So apparently, I like to cook...........And even when he's not home I'm still cooking....for no one in particular. I wonder what the other kids would answer.
1. What is something your mom always says to you?
"You're a pain."
2. What makes mom happy?
"When things get done."
3. What makes mom sad?
"When she has to work late."
4. How does mom make you laugh?
"She tickles me."
5. What was mom like as a child?
"An energetic child."
6. What is her favorite thing to do?
"Spend time with the family."
7. What does mom do when you're not around.
"Clean, cook, nap."
8. If mom becomes famous, what will it be for?
"Cooking."
9. What is mom really good at?
"Cooking and cleaning."
10. What is mom not very good at?
"Video games." And in my defense here, they make me nauseous to watch on the screen soooo....
11. What does mom do for a job?
"She cleans the temple."
12. What is mom's favorite food?
"Chocolate."
13. What makes you proud of mom?
"Nice, cooking and funny."
14. If mom were a cartoon character, who would she be?
"Daffy Duck"
15. What do you and mom do together?
"Go to dinner."
16. How are you and mom the same?
"We are both energetic."
17. How are you and mom different?
"I'm a guy."
18. How do you know mom loves you?
"She sais (sic) so."
19. What does mom like most about dad?
"He makes the money/and listens to her."
20. Where is mom's favorite place to go?
"Her room."
So apparently, I like to cook...........And even when he's not home I'm still cooking....for no one in particular. I wonder what the other kids would answer.
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Mother's Day 2013
Every year Mother's Day comes around and I can already hear the
groans from the women: I hate Mother's Day, I'm not a good mother,
Everyone else is better than me, I suck, etc. But really? How awesome
is it that each family gets to celebrate what they like best about you?
We are all different. We all came to earth with different personalities and abilities or maybe disabilities. No two people are alike. Not one of us is even NEAR to being perfect. So why do we constantly compare ourselves to one another?
Here is a list of things I'm good at: Mowing the lawn, cooking, yelling, dressing myself, procrastinating, studying the scriptures, cleaning bathrooms, shaving my legs, not killing my kids, getting everyone to where they are supposed to be on time, trying, driving fast, working outside the home.....
Here is a list of things I'm NOT good at: drawing, sewing, finishing projects, keeping my mouth shut, keeping up on my blog, keeping the laundry room clean, keeping up on paperwork, making sure my kids get their school work finished and turned in, denying myself food, getting up in the morning, wanting to call people back, being consistent....
And the lists will go on.
I bet you didn't know some of those things about me. I bet if you wrote down lists about yourself they would be totally different than mine. I'm betting that you are sitting there comparing yourself to me. Stop that. Seriously.
A wise man said, God is fully aware that you and I are not perfect. Let me add, God is also fully aware that the people you think are perfect are not. And yet we spend so much time and energy comparing ourselves to others--usually comparing our weaknesses to their strengths. As a result we never celebrate our good efforts because they seem to be less than what someone else does.--Dieter F Uchtdorf
What is one thing you do well? Just one thing. Is it the laundry? Is it a perfect driving record? Is it playing with children? Is it patience? Is it musical? Is it dusting the ceiling fans? Is it appreciating your accomplishments? What is it?
There is that one thing. Let's your family appreciate that one thing at least one day out of the year. And quit whining.
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