I've been on a "diet". It's the non-diet diet of death and doom and OMG I think I want to kill myself at times. I'm being over dramatic there. I've always been thin. I was that person that could eat, and eat, and eat, and eat and never work out and never gain a pound. I lived on treats, and cheeseburgers, and cookies (my personal favorite dessert), Dr Pepper--full octane mind you, Wendy's, In n Out, JCW's (a Utah place), etc.
I was that person that women would say, "I bet you can eat anything and not gain weight." Or, "Do you have to work out?" Or "How do you look so good?" And I would pridefully say, "Yep, I can eat anything and not gain weight. No, I don't have to work out. And I don't know." I say pridefully because I had grown tired of women trying to make me feel bad for something I really at that point couldn't control. Screw you, girls. I'm the bomb dot com.
As a little kid I think I may have weighed 50 pounds in 5th grade and 80 pounds while I was in 8th grade. When I got married I weighed 105 pounds. Even after my fourth baby at 33 despite gaining 55 pounds I returned to my pre-pregnancy weight of 118. Easy Peasy. And I had the nerve to look in the mirror and say to my husband, "I'm fat!" What a joke.
Then I turned 38. Several things happened that year of which a few I have only guesses about:
1. I started taking anti-depressants. Which is a great thing. I was happy. Jonathan was happy. The kids were happy. I put on weight.
2. We went on our yearly across country trip that year to Tennessee where my sister-in-law fed me and I ate and ate and ate like usual. I gulped down Dr Pepper across country both ways and ate sunflower seeds to keep myself awake while driving. And I ate Pop Tarts while driving which are my Kryptonite. I gained 10 pounds on that trip. I thought, "Oh, it's just water. It'll go away." It didn't.
3. My metabolism changed. I slowed down.
4. My periods started getting funny and I went on the pill for a couple years. Fixed my periods. I gained weight though. And I thought I would lose it once I went off the pill. Didn't.
5. I took a sedentary desk job. 'Nuff said there.
6. I continued to eat like I always had. Not enough lean meats, fruits and vegetables but lots of treats, Dr Pepper, and late night Jr. Bacon Cheeseburgers from Wendy's.
I run. I do yoga and Pilates. I do Zumba. I do all sorts of other fitness-y things. I garden heavily. But I don't eat well! And I kept wondering why I don't lose weight. And actually I haven't gained any extra weight in over 2 years but
I have this belly......that I hate! And I KNOW I don't look bad but I
FEEL bad. And there's nobody asking me those questions anymore....*sob*
So my awesome friend Teri Shelley started mentioning on Facebook about some program she had been doing in which she had lost a bunch of weight. She mentioned that she was going to start again on the program and wondered if anyone wanted to join her "diet group". I asked her what it entailed and it is rather simple:
Eat three servings of vegetables a day.
Eat three servings of fruit a day.
No white flour.
A LOT of water.
Exercise 45 minutes 5 days a week.
No fried food.
No soda. At all. Even diet.
Keep a food journal.
And no eating after 8pm.
Also you get one free day a week. Thank goodness.
We keep track of everything and each thing gets a point and the person with the most points at the end of 12 weeks wins money. You have to put something in or why else would you do it?
It's really just natural eating. This is really how one should eat always, right? Eat less/move more? And you tell yourself you CAN have a treat you just have to wait until your free day. Which is sometimes hard because I really, really love Dr Pepper and cookies. But I do it.
I've basically lost a pound a week which I really like because I know it is good weight I'm losing and not just muscle or water that I will gain back again. I now weigh 140.3 pounds as of today but started at 145.5 just so you
The first week I didn't lose any weight but because I wasn't eating white flour and drinking Dr Pepper I lost that bloaty feeling in my belly. It weighs you down like crazy. Now when I eat a meal I feel full because my stomach is full not because I have added more gas inducing white flour going on in there. And don't get me wrong so many yuuuuummy things are made out of white flour.....cookies, brownies, bread, tortillas, pasta, and don't tell me that I can use wheat flour for those because Holy GAG! I just put those things aside and partake on my day off.
I'm pretty pleased with my success so far. And you know what? I've actually become comfortable with my bigger self. I look better in clothing. I don't look like an emaciated, underweight 20-30 year old mom with 4 kids trying to recapture her glory days. However, I'd like to lose another 10 pounds in the weeks left which means I'll need to work a little harder but I think it's worth it.
Strange letters from my father
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