Tuesday, November 15, 2011


My dog is laying at the foot of my bed snoring.  Loudly.  She even has that "ccccaw shoo" sound going on.  It's kind of cute.

But do you know what's not cute?  Sleeping in a hotel room with Darth Madar and her oxygen machine and Snorey McSnore Snore who needs a C-pap machine! 

My mother's old oxygen machine literally made her sound like Darth Vadar--Ho perrrrr, Ho perrrrr--when she was on it.  Now it's this steady stream of air.  In fact if you were sleeping in the same room with her you'd lay there wondering if each breath was her last because it was like this:  Ho...........crickets..........perrrrr. 

Then you got my dad.  When we were kids he could snore so loud that you would hear him clear across the house through closed doors like he was lying in the same room.  I remember waking up one night thinking there was a tiger in my room.  I was scared to death!  Then I got to the point that I would go into my parents' room and poke him so he'd stop.  By the time I was 20 or so I would lay in bed and yell, "Dad!  Dad!  Roll over!"  To which my mother would awaken "the dead" and he would roll over long enough for the rest of us to go back to sleep.

My mother used to say that she didn't hear him.  How the...What the hell?  They would be asked to stay in hotels when visiting relatives so as not to upset the nighttime balance.  She said that if she went to sleep before he came to bed then she didn't hear him.  Which is really the truth because I have the same dilemma here although my husband doesn't sound like he's going to swallow the house.

So this past weekend my sister and I took my parents up to Logan for a wedding.  Beautiful day.  Beautiful couple.  But we had to share a rather small hotel room.  My sister started coming down with a cold and didn't sleep much of the night and I tossed and turned quite a bit.  And "apparently" I was gassy.  But that's neither here nor there.

During the night my dad was sleeping on his back.  Because his hip hurt.  Because he's old.  It went like this:  Cccccaw..............................................ng hng ng hng *smack smack smack*.      Cccccaw...................................................ng hng ng hng *smack smack smack*.  He would stop breathing!  My sister had nothing else to do since she couldn't sleep so she would count the seconds until he started breathing again.  The longest one was 45 seconds.  He would snore, not breathe, then start making noises and smacking his lips until it was time for the next snore.

I don't know how they both stand it.  But I'm glad they have each other, not breathing or breathing all night long.  The End.


  1. I've heard my father-in-law snoring. No lie. It is something to behold...

  2. Sounds like something at my house. Last time I was dead tired and snoring...Stu woke up and was trying to find something to record me on...he said I sounded like Chewbacca. I should get together with your mom!