Thursday, March 8, 2012

Maturation ( and a little rant )

My last child went to his Maturation class at school yesterday.  I made my husband go this time as I have attended all three of the others.

When we were new to the sex talk thing we didn't know what we were doing.  Well, like we do now. *eyeroll*  When our oldest, a boy, was 10 and just about to go to his maturation class in 5th grade, I told my husband that he needed to take the boy into his bedroom and explain the birds and the bees to him.  I didn't give any other direction because he, being a marriage and family therapist, would surely know what to say.  Right?

Flash forward to a few years later when he was in 9th grade and we were all riding along in the minivan.  I was talking to my oldest daughter about periods and other things thinking the boy knew what I was talking about.  He finally says, "What are you talking about?!"  I said, "The birds and the bees. You know what dad talked to you about."  He then said something that I never thought I would hear, "Dad didn't tell me about that.  He told me about sex.  You know.  How to do it."  I asked if he'd been told about hair growing, things getting bigger, other things drooping, voices changing, nocturnal emissions...nope, nope, nope. That night I told the hubs that he was not talking to the little boy when it came time.

It came time.  I told him that he needed to take the boy aside and WITH the older brother to give the little boy a talk about the birds and the bees.  He kept putting it off so the other day we were sitting in the family room and I said to the older boy, "Would you tell your brother some of the things he's going to notice about his body in the next few years."  He talked about hair growing, things getting bigger, other things drooping, voices changing and nocturnal emissions.  heeheehee

Yesterday they went to Maturation.  The hubs went with him.  The boy came home all excited about manly things.  Each little boy is given a mini Old Spice deodorant to use.  He carried that thing around with him all the rest of the day and into the night.  His daddy told me that when they went out for ice cream later he kept rubbing it on his body to make sure he wouldn't stink.  Last night he asked me, "Mom, do girls use deodorant?"  I assured him that they do.

Of course, the Utah Legislature is trying to pass a bill into law stating that schools don't have to teach sex ed and if they do they can only state abstinence as the only way to not get pregnant.  Once again.  The Radical Mormon Right of the State of Utah is pushing their ideology onto the peasantry.  You know, it just pisses me off.  We are an open family about our bodies and how they function and the changes inherent.  We talk about sex, what is appropriate behavior for their ages and what we expect.  Not all children are as lucky.  I can't tell you how many parents leave it up to the schools and their kids' church leaders to tell them about sex.  The only answer I ever got about sex from my church leaders was wait until I get married.  Which I did but that was because I had parent(s) (my mom) who was open about sex and was willing and available to answer questions.

So so so so many kids are getting pregnant because they don't know what is appropriate  behavior at their particular ages because they don't have parents that care to take the time to teach them.  I say, Let the schools teach it.  Or better yet, our overly righteous legislature who probably all sat around blushing during the discussion of this bill.  Cowards.


  1. Great post, baby. And I stand by my "talk" with Adam... ;-)

  2. This whole bill is plain stupid. We will just be raising a generation of kids who will think they just need tylenol and vaseline to have sex.

  3. I completely agree, Kara. My nearly 15 yo son & 17 yo daughter are so "over" the Sex Talk...because it is standard dinner time conversation. They regularly roll their eyes at me when I ask some sex-related/maturation-type question of them. My son will know more about tampons before leaving HS than my hubz did when we were help me...but I completely agree with you on the legislature and their overzealous ways to make themselves (and our ridiculously conservative--AKA head in the sand--satate) look even more conservative so the Eagle Forum will support their re-election! BP is rising just thinking this in my head. Just know, I'm with you on this one too! :) Shauna DeBuck