Today I attended a parole hearing for a man who molested a child in the neighborhood. I sat with the victim's family and witnessed the utter suffering and uncontrollable crying of the mother as the specifics of the case were read aloud. And when I say specifics I mean everything was laid out in the open. There was no second guessing what this man had done to this child.
The man was asked questions and then left the room while the mother spoke openly and candidly about the sadness her child has to live through. How the child doesn't think much of themself, the child's usually high grades had plummeted, how the child cries frequently, and has had continual therapy since the time it came out in the open. Also, the child continues to relive the abuse suffered. That will never go away. The child will always remember it, unfortunately.
The man came back into the room and the mediator asked him questions. I won't go into the questions the man was asked as suffice it to say everything the man answered was either half truths or all out lies. Because you see that is the way pedophiles are. They lie. THEY LIE!! They are almost narcissistic in their behavior. "If I don't get caught, I didn't do it. And no matter what I did I will not apologize." I will say thing like, "I'm glad I got caught, or I feel the victim's family's pain, or I understand what I did was wrong, etc." But at no time will they actually say, "I am sorry." Period. Because they will put the blame on the child, the child's family, the way they themselves were molested as a child, pornography, their home life, etc. And they are slimy!! They will get their family, friends, church and community members to believe that "it only happened once, maybe twice, and never with another child." And the family, friends, church and community members will believe them. Because they have been groomed right along with the child he violated.
As a side note, for every child you find out about there are at least 100 children in one stage or another that are being groomed. Some are in the beginning stages and others are too old for the pedophile. It's a proven fact.
Behind the group of us who were with the victim's family were the group who were with the man in prison. They were not allowed to speak. I knew all but one person in that group. I hope that whatever lies the man's mother and family tell about their son/friend and about the victim's family were now laid out for all to see. I hope that their will be no more confusion as to what this man did. I'm glad they weren't allowed to speak their lies to the mediator. They don't deserve a voice.
My friend has felt compassionate towards the family. She's a better person than I.
However, I do believe in the Atonement of Jesus Christ. I have personally put my faith and trust on the shoulder of the Savior to help me through hard times and to help me forgive those who have wronged me. Granted nothing like this has ever happened to me or my family but I know for a fact that the Atonement of Jesus Christ his given me peace as I've laid my burdens at His feet.
I hope for that sakes of both family, the victim and the pedophile especially, that they can learn how to apply the soothing balm the Atonement provides. The memories never go away. They are there to help you remember how to treat others, I believe. But the pain can disappear. Like nothing ever happened.
In the meantime, he's in jail for a long time. Amen.